Back to the land of the living

So if you follow me on instagram or Facebook you will know I got very sick over thanksgiving - honestly the worst flu I can remember having in years! I woke up Wednesday morning and knew something was up and quarantined myself straight to the basement. 3 long days later I emerged and reunited with my boys. That first night I was on the floor bawling my eyes out telling Chris I legitimately thought I might die and I was serious!

So enough sob story what is this post really about? It's about what I learned from being incapacitated for 3 full days with an (almost) 8 month old.

1. Getting sick being a mom is waaaay different than getting sick before you were a mom. Before ceej if I would get sick sure it sucked but I only had to worry about myself and not only did I just have to worry about myself but Chris or whoever would baby me and take care of me (oh shit I sound like a total princess here...). Being sick as a mommy - whole different ball game. You feel like death but there is your tiny human you still are worried about which brings a whole new element to the game and brings me to point number...

2. My husband is amazing. Yes we right and bicker and yes the past 8 months (hell past almost 2 years since we officially entered the land of the diagnosed infertile) have been the hardest 2 years of our 14 together - but he was a rockstar for 3 days. He managed to take care of Ceejy, the zoo that is our 2 cats and dog, our house and me! He made store runs when Ceej was napping, he made great use of the 50 thousand baby contraptions we have when ceej was awake to keep the household together and he played mom. It's something that he's not had to do before because it's natural for moms to be chef, teacher, nanny, household manager, dog walker etc all the time - but he stepped up in a major way and it reminds me why I love him so much and he's the best dad in the world (let's not talk about how for a day after all ceejy wanted was daddy...)

3. Being a mom makes you totally selfless. I felt like I was dying but all I could think about was please don't let CJ and Chris get this nasty bug. I literally prayed out loud to God in heaven don't let them get this - please - because I'm not sure I could handle my sweet boy on so much distress.

4. Holidays are an idea - they aren't just a certain day. They are about family and togetherness. (Thanks Carissa for reminding me about this! XOXO). I'm kind of a freak for the holiday season - so of course I  was so pumped for CJ's first thanksgiving. Like had a thankful or turkey outfit planned for every day, he was going to eat some food all of it. And then reality hit and I had saltines, daddy had pizza rolls and ceejy wore a monster outfit for thanksgiving. I had a pity party and felt down and then I realized hell no - thanksgiving is an idea - an idea to be together with your family and be thankful for what you have. It doesn't have to be celebrated on the last Thursday in November to be special so when we get back from vacation my little family will be recreating that special day so we can create memories of his first turkey day 

5. Finally I realized I appreciate this sweet boy more than even I realized. 

As a stay at home momma the days can be long, I can go days without leaving the house, without showering, or without talking to anyone but ceej, Chris and the dog and cats. It can be lonely and isolating and it's been a huge adjustment for me. But what I realized literally not being able to see my sweet man for 3 full days is that I wouldn't have it any other way. I would love to find a good balance of me time but I am so thankful to be able to spend my days with him and so blessed to call him mine.

I hope you all had a very happy Thanksgiving - we are in Disney world visiting Mickey so stay tuned for a fun vacation post soon!

XOXO

K