When one single picture puts your whole life into perspective...

When I took this picture I was a tired, completely stressed momma with a baby who wanted to be held all day long. We've been snowed in since Saturday afternoon. I am a baby when it comes to driving in snow and the city can't get their shit together long enough to plow the side streets. Now that I have Ceej, I may never leave the house again in a car when it's snowing - that's how nervous I get when road conditions are less than optimal.

I missed every play date we set up this week - sent many "I'm so sorry texts." I had texted my girlfriends and Chris all day long many "woe is me" texts throughout the day. Ceej has been getting up at 4:30, I'm tired, he isn't napping well. There was a misunderstanding at work - it was a big day for our new system, Wednesday is usually my day in the office - this week I'm going in Friday and apparently forgot to tell them - total shit show crisis starting at 7am. Totally my fault but nonetheless it was a fire I had to put out.

I am normally great with keeping up the chores - especially being snowed in you would think I could get the laundry done, the carpet vacuumed and dinner made right? Nope. Behind on everything. Not sure when the last time I had a proper shower…

Casey is in a total separation anxiety, wants momma all the time phase. Which don't get me wrong I love and when he cuddles me literally my heart melts and nothing in the world matters - but sometimes it's purely exhausting when you attempt to shower and he can't stand to be away from you for those 5 minutes so you turn the water off and decide a shower can wait…

That was all before I took this picture.

After, I was a humbled momma, completely overwhelmed with love and gratitude, tears in my eyes when I saw the look on my son's face. The way he is gazing up at me - as if I'm the most beautiful, perfect creature he has ever seen. He's looking at me and it's as if his eyes are saying "I know it may be hard sometimes momma, and I can be a handful, but I love you more than anything in this whole wide world and nothing else matters". And he's so so right.

It doesn't matter that my carpet is filthy, that the laundry basket is full, or that today's lunch dishes are still on the counter. I am still super woman in his eyes and that will never change. He doesn't care that I haven't had a shower or ran a brush through my hair in 2 days - to him I will always be his momma - one of the most beautiful women in the world to him.

It's amazing how much one picture can put your entire existence into perspective. After this picture, we had the best night as a family because I forgot about all the noise - the laundry, the carpet, my hair - all of it, and focused on what is important and that's Casey and Chris and our family. I reflected on how blessed we are to have a happy, healthy and active little man. As I've said before - some of our worst days together cannot even compare to our best days before him. Tonight, I'm thanking the big Man upstairs just a little more than normal for choosing me to be Casey's momma. 

XOXO

K