The biggest unconventional reason I am thankful...

Happy Thanksgiving! I cannot even begin to tell you all the reasons that I am thankful today. Last year I had the worst stomach flu of my life, couldn't even see my sweet baby I had waited so many years to celebrate with as I was quarantined to the basement hoping and praying he and daddy didn't get it, I felt terrible that Chris ate a lean cuisine for Thanksgiving, and I missed being able to travel to Michigan to see our family. There were so many reasons to not feel Thankful - yet I was. It was the first time we were able to celebrate as a family of 3. The holiday season was kicking off and the dreams I had waited and wished for had finally come true. It got to me to thinking that even in the dark times and when it seems like nothing is going right - there is almost always something to be thankful for.

Our facebook feeds and Instagrams will be filled with happy pictures today, words of what everyone is thankful for, and delicious treats and yummy goodies. Mine too. And I'm thankful for the obvious things - my sweet Ceej, my amazing hubby, the two babies kicking in my belly, the fact that we are healthy, have a beautiful home, have 3 aging but healthy fur babies, an amazing family - all of it. But I wanted to share the biggest unconventional reason I am thankful. As you've heard me talk about before, I am a part of a worldwide, unfortunately very large community of women who are struggling to conceive. It's a sisterhood, a bond that is simply amazing and comes from sharing something so terrible and life altering that unless you have been there you simply cannot understand. I know that today and the weeks to come can be the hardest for women who are still waiting on their miracles - those that long to have a baby in their arms more than anything in this entire world. When I think about all that I am thankful for today they are always in the back of my mind and on my heart remembering how hard the holiday season can be when you are still wishing and hoping.

I will be forever thankful for our struggles with infertility. I cannot even begin to explain how it has changed me. It has made me realize that I am stronger than I ever imagined. That my marriage is stronger than I ever believed was possible, and it's given me the greatest miracles and blessings in my life. It also taught me that I'm not in control of this crazy ride we call life and while I still have a temper and still get frustrated - at the end of the day I realize I'm not the one calling all the shots and there are just some things in life we cannot change and we must accept, pull on the big girl panties and deal with.

From simple things like helping me overcome my fear of needles and shots by forcing me to give myself literally hundreds over 4 rounds to just in general not be anxious or nervous around doctors and procedures - it's been a blessing in disguise. And don't even get me started on how much it's helped restore my faith in humanity. The love and support and friendships I've made - all over the world - from people struggling (and even not) with the same issues we have struggled with makes me realize that for all the bad in the world most people are still inherently good and still care is amazing. And it gives makes me want to work even harder to raise our kids with the same compassion and sense of caring and love for others.

Infertility also allowed Chris and I to have many many years together - just the two of us - to grow and strengthen our marriage and our bond. Sure it put a strain on us - but it also brought us closer together and made us a stronger couple because of it. Because of all the waiting and wishing - we were able to have almost 14 years together (almost 10 married) before we had a family. We were able to travel the world and experience so much that life has to offer together before we introduced others into the fold. Would we have loved to had kids to share life with sooner? Of course - but I've learned to be thankful for the hand we were dealt - and memories like these will always hold a very special place in my heart.

The Great Wall

Copenhagen

Paris

Spain

Venice

Rome

Munich for Oktoberfest

South Africa

Thailand

Triggering the eggs that would become both our sweet Ceej and our growing twins!

Prepping for round 4

The last Progesterone in Oil shot for the twinks!

So today as you are filling your bellies with turkey and stuffing, settling in with a piece of pie and the football game (Go Bears!) - please remember all of those that are struggling - whether it be with losing someone near and dear to their heart, someone who is experiencing hard times, or someone who is waiting for their family to feel complete. The holidays can be hard but hopefully we all can find at least a little something to be thankful for.

Have an amazing turkey day everyone!

XOXO

K