12 weeks!!!!!

Wow...I honestly can't believe we've made it this far! I remember starting IVF last February thinking this is going to be a piece of cake! At the time we ony thought we were dealing with make factor and I thought one and done and we'll have a baby by Christmas. Was I wrong...

But that's the past and here we are - with a baby bump at 12 weeks! After having the huge bleed at 7.5 I never imagined carrying this baby all the way - let alone to 12 and it still is a constant fear of mine. I was talking to one of my fave TTC sisters turned fellow expecting momma about dealing with finally being pregnant and the anxiety and worry that comes along with it and how do I deal? The answer...I don't very well and I worry every single day.

I haven't went through half of what most of my girls have - we did two rounds and were amazingly blessed. But after trying for years and having a cycle fail you just cannot imagine yourself holding a baby - still. And I was naive - I thought once we got pregnant we could sit back and relax and everything would be perfect but God had other plans for us. I know a lot of women say they love being pregnant - and I love every second of knowing I have a baby - and growing living being on my belly - sometimes I literally just stop and feel like I need to pinch myself and praise God that we are here. But I'm terrified and I can't wait for it to be over so I can finally hold our little one and graduate from those people that are infertile to those people that have a story to share an a beautiful baby to prove that doctors are amazing, God is good, and it can happen. 

So, how do I deal? Lots and lots of prayers, every single time I go to the bathroom and there's no blood I pray, every time we hit a milestone I pray and thank God we made it. And lots and lots of hours on the phone with my mom and dad. And lots of questions and answers from my TTC sisters! I just try to have faith that God brought us to this - surely he'll bring us through it.

So our 12 week weekend was fun - momma was up for the weekend and we shopped all weekend long! We bought tons of maternity clothes and had a blast! 
My momma brought baby Wik a cake!

Then Sunday it was off to the Bears game! Fun game - perfect weather - bad loss! 😀

Then Monday I had my last ultrasound for 4 weeks! We've had weekly ultrasounds because of the complications but the docotor is comfortable with where we are so we won't see him again until 16 weeks. This was the most amazing appointment yet! The baby was squirming all over the place, looked right at us and opened and closed its mouth and was moving its arms all over. My mom was able to make it to this one and I was so happy to be able to share that moment with her! 

We are off on our 2 week roadtrip so I'll be posting fun things from the road for the next little bit but I'll leave you with the 12 week chalkboard pic. Houston, we have a belly!



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