My take on twin pregnancy 36 weeks in...

I've been thinking about what I would say in this post for a while now. First off let me say I honestly could not feel more lucky to have been given the chance to carry twins. I know there are some people who dream of having twins, who would give anything to have this opportunity and so I realize how lucky we are. That being said the 3rd trimester with twins is no walk in the park and is certainly not for the faint of heart.

I've been hesitant to share some of my thoughts as there's a definite stigma attached with infertility that after struggling to get pregnant that if you are one of the lucky ones who is blessed to carry a child that you are never allowed to even think about complaining about anything - let alone utter a complaint out loud. I was there before - I felt that way and would curse women that would complain about aches, pains and nausea. Whether they had struggled or not I would think wow - what an ungrateful asshole…do you know how many women would kill to be in your shoes? I even felt that way through a lot of my pregnancy with CJ. That being said - I had a very very easy pregnancy (minus the very scary 8 weeks I bled due to the sub chorionic hemorrhage with him). I worked out basically until I had him, had zero nausea and never really slowed down. Being blessed with the twins has opened my eyes and humbled me in so many ways…

From the beginning of our twin pregnancy I was terrified. Not terrified of having twins or even carrying 2 babies - but terrified that one of them would decide to leave us. I think infertility messes with your mind so much that you don't believe anything good can ever happen until it's real and tangible and in your arms. 36 weeks in there are days where I am overcome with fear that we won't bring our 2 precious babies home safely. I think I could have 18 kids and become an honorary Duggar and that feeling would never leave me. And for the most part - save for a little bleeding and some nausea and overall exhaustion in the beginning - I have had an amazing and very healthy twin pregnancy. The doc has told me time and time again that he could not be happier and that I am doing great. Babies are measuring last we saw them in the 60th percentile for singletons and seem to be strong, big and healthy babies who were practicing their breathing last week! That being said - as is the case with lots of social media - most of what you see are the good days. The days I rock as a toddler mom, my house is clean, I actually put on real clothes, managed a shower and did my hair - and I feel like I could take on the world. Because of the stigma I mentioned above - I don't talk so much about the rough days. But I thought that I would share for other twin mommas who may be going through the same things.

1. Nothing can compare to the hellfire heartburn and acid reflux that having over 10lbs of babies in your belly can cause. Nothing. Trust me. It's probably the most uncomfortable thing I have ever experienced. I had a chronic sore throat from all of the acid in the 2nd trimester and in the 3rd we've graduated to vomiting often from the terrible reflux. All for a great cause and I'll gladly take it - but that's certainly one side effect of everything being so cramped that I certainly will not miss. So what can you do for it? It seems like different things work for different mommas. A lot say milk helps - for me that's an instant trip to the porcelain bus. Cereal is also a trigger for me - every. single. time. During the 2nd trimester a teaspoon of plain yellow mustard helped - not so much anymore. The doc convinced me to start taking Pepcid AC - that does nothing. The only thing I've found that helps is eating the chewy Tums (the starburst like ones!) like they are candy. Oh and saltines also help!

2. Speaking of everything being cramped - you will regret it in the 3rd tri if your "eyes are bigger than your belly." Trust me. The other night I couldn't really eat dinner because I was feeling off. That led to a 1am wake-up where I was absolutely starving. I snuck downstairs and at 2 large bowls of cereal and milk. Remember when I said cereal and milk will cause a trip to the bathroom? Apparently in my sleepy stupor I forgot this - proceeded to eat way to much and the consequences were not good. I've found there were a few weeks where my appetite went way down but now in the homestretch it's back with a vengeance and the only way to survive is to eat SMALL and frequent meals. I cannot stress small enough - trust me you will thank me later.

3. Speaking of sleep - wow is it hard to come by these days. I can't tell if it's hormone surges or the fact that I can't seem to be comfortable but wow - if I get a good night's sleep I feel like a million bucks. Another thing that the doc suggested early on which can actually help with nausea as well is Unisom. It's been a godsend and I honestly would not survive without it. There's been a few nights i've forgotten it and boy did I pay for it. If you are comfortable I highly recommend it - it will help you get some rest and you will feel like a new woman - promise.

4. And then there's the issue of getting comfortable. So when I got pregnant with Ceej I weighed about 135 pounds. The day I delivered him I weighed 187. That's 52 pounds. 5-2. With the twins as of last week with the twins I had only gained 30 and I have well over 10 pounds of just baby - not counting fluid and placentas. Granted - I was quite a bit heavier - ahem about 20 pounds - when I got pregnant with the twins - but that's neither here nor there - I digress. Anywho - what I'm getting at is even though I weight about the same now as I did when I delivered Ceej I was never ever this uncomfortable with him as I am now. Literally laying on my right side is absolutely excruciating - likely because Baby B is firmly lodged in my rib cage, laying on my back I physically can't breathe - so my two options are left side (which is ideal in pregnancy) or propped up which is amazing when I'm having a heartburn attack. For all twin mommas I highly recommend an amazing body pillow - I had a snoogle with Ceej and tried using it in the early days with the twins and it no where near did the trick. Here's the one I have and it's an absolute Godsend - I would not sleep without it. But beware - it's easily 5 lbs if not more. I tried using the 2 cheapie body pillow trick I used with Ceej - no go. You must get this pillow:

5. Speaking of being uncomfortable I have a hard time breathing - I've been a mouth breather from about week 12 on but some days it's feels nearly impossible to breathe - to the point where I'm almost in tears and it's actually sent me to labor and delivery triage. This past week I came downstairs and just couldn't catch my breath and it was incredibly painful. To be on the safe side we rushed to the hospital and thank God everything was ok but it was super scary. The image below is one of my favorite images - and that just shows what happens with one baby - we can all only imagine 2. And that explains a lot…

6. I tire easily and that's an extreme understatement. I just can't do much at all. I'm good to be on my feet for about 20/30 minutes and then I need a break. Especially recently if I'm up for too long I get super crampy and just start feeling like poo - so I've learned my limits and we go with it. Thank God for mommas - she's taking good care of all of us right now! And I could be on America's Funniest Videos if someone would follow me around and watch me get out of the car or off the couch - it's comical to say the least.

7. This is embarrassing and I can't believe I'm putting it on the inter webs but…hemorrhoids. Holy hell. I never had them until after delivery with Ceej. At about week 32/34 I developed them with the twins and I can say I wouldn't wish them on my worst enemy. I'm guessing they are caused my the constant pressure of so much baby but trust me - if you develop them take care of them right away. I used everything I could get my hands on to nip them in the bud because I didn't want to have them when I go to push these sweet little babes out!

So again - none of these are complaints - just things that I know I have posted on my twin mom Facebook groups asking other seasoned moms of multiples if they've experienced, how they've dealt with them, etc. And again - I'm aware there are literally thousands of women who would kill to be in my shoes - I have not forgotten my days in the trenches as an infertile - and to be honest I still greatly identify with the community as we are still infertile. If we want to add to our family after the twins - it will be IVF or nothing for us. So I know the feeling all too well - but I also know the feeling of being scared and alone and wanting more knowledge and experiences from seasoned vets.

So before I go - I want to share a few things I am super grateful and thankful for:

1. I LOVE the looks, the questions, and the interest from perfect strangers. I'm so in love with these babies and I've always loved being pregnant. Love everything about it. I love my belly, my little belly button that pops out like an arrow, everything. So I love it when people share in my joy and excitement.  Everyone asks when I am due and when I tell them there are 2 in there the excitement that lights up their face is priceless.

2. I love and welcome the question "are they natural" or "do they run in your family". As you all know I love being an infertility advocate so I will take any chance to explain to someone that no - all of our babes are IVF babies and what that means. Just the other day Ceej and I had a 35 minute conversation with a sales associate and 2 shoppers in Children's Place about the amazing-ness that is IVF and frozen embryos in particular! 

3. I love having a completely different experience in round 2. I know no 2 pregnancies are the same but carrying 1 then 2 - it's a whole new galaxy. Nothing is the same. And probably the coolest thing is feeling them move independently in there and wondering if they are interacting already in certain ways. 

I could go on and on and on but this post is already way too long - so I'm going to wrap it up and just say again, I'm so so thankful to have this experience and even though the heartburn, aches, pains and overall uncomfortableness - I'm so so sad that it's coming to an end. I will miss this kicks and roles, the belly touches, the questions - all of it. In one words - carrying multiples is simply - amazing.


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