15 weeks and counting!

So here we are at 15 weeks (well technically 16w4d as I write this - for those of you who may be new I am always a week behind here - something I get from my Dad who refused to EVER turn the calendar before the first day of the month! don't want to write about a week until we've made it through). Also, today was the big day that we went public with our pregnancy. Most all of our family and very close friends knew but it's facebook official now. It feels good to have it out there but is also scary at the same time. My belly is growing like wildfire but I still am not feeling anything that I will definitively say is movement yet (doc says not to expect it until week 20) but there is always this twinge of fear in the back of my mind saying what if something has went wrong and you just don't know....

That's what I want to touch a little bit on today is fear and pregnancy. I live with fear and worry every single day. After struggling for so long and thinking that our dream would never come true, it's so so hard to believe that come April we will hold our little one in our arms. I worry everyday - is there still a heartbeat, am I eating well enough, am I lifting something I shouldn't, should I be sleeping on my belly, is this really happening? And then I think ok, push that out of your mind - God brought you to this he I know that we are through the scariest miscarriage time - but not having seen or heard the baby in 4 weeks is killing me! Thank goodness it's back to the doc tomorrow! Then only a few short weeks before our little one will be poking and prodding me! :)

If any mommas out there are reading this and have the same fears constantly or did and learned how to tackle them I would LOVE to hear how you did it. Often times when I get scared I turn to one of my devotional apps for comfort and it always seems like it's a perfect message. I also will connect with one of my girls who always inevitably talk me off the ledge!

So week 15 was pretty uneventful - the spotting seems to be long gone (fingers crossed) and I have actually been able to return to some light working out! I was a little worried - walking down the street was causing me to become winded or going up a flight of stairs and wearing my heart rate monitor I could tell it was too high and I want to be strong to deliver Baby Wik! So I have started doing the Tracy Anderson Pregnancy project DVDs (momma's to be they are great!!) and walking on the treadmill - nothing strenuous and keeping my heart rate below 150 per doc's orders but it feels good! The doc said weeks ago that I could resume normal activities but until now I've been just too scared!

This week was Halloween and it was so much fun to see little ones around 8.5 - 9 months old and think of ours next year! I remember last Halloween being so very sad - especially when everyone brought their little ones in to trick-or-treat at work because we were struggling with no end in sight so this year was quite different for me! We always take it easy at home, make homemade pizza and watch scary movies so that's always fun! I ate WAY too much Halloween candy - something I don't normally do - and I think I was in bed by 8! We also dressed up at work this year as people from the 1950's - at first I thought my costume was hideous but it turned out to be not half bad!

 My boss and I!
The whole team!
Wednesday's are also our chalkboard baby Wik pic night so we did that as well! Excuse the workout clothes and messy hair - can't win em all! I think my belly is really starting to pop and it makes me so happy! Sometimes I will just stand and stare at it and Chris is like what are you doing, you are scaring me! :)

So that's all I have for now - I will leave you with a few of my favorite pics from our maternity shoot but if you want to see our photog's blog post with all of them you can visit this link: 


 And if anyone in the Chicagoland area needs a photographer for anything I would highly recommend her - she is amazing! :)


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