Loneliness
So I'm going to put myself totally out there with this post - so please if you plan to pass judgement on it please keep your words to yourself. As the old saying goes if you don't have anything nice to say - don't say anything at all.
I want to talk about a topic today that I think a lot of people - especially in the infertility community - are afraid to talk about. I don't think all mom's experience it - but I think there is a fair share of us out there so putting myself out here like this - I hope that it can help at least a few other momma's who might be feeling the same way.
So as you all know I officially became a stay at home momma last week. Honestly it's something I never imagined doing but the second Casey was born I knew there was no way that I could leave him and thank goodness we have been able to adjust our lifestyles to afford for me to be able to stay at home. It's not easy and I know even with lifestyle changes it is not something everyone can afford to do so I am beyond grateful to have the opportunity to do it. But that doesn't make the isolation and loneliness that I feel every day any easier.
I love being at home with Casey and watching all of his firsts - the first time he smiled at me, the first time he grabbed for a toy, the first time he rolled over - I wouldn't change my situation for the world but I have been really struggling lately with loneliness and isolation. It has been very hard to go from the working world, where I had lunch with friends all the time, and interacted all day everyday with people to being home with sometimes no interaction and days where I don't even leave the house. Casey is in this phase right now where he hates his car seat so car trips are rough - so we've resorted to walking everywhere - a 6 mile walking roundtrip Target run is quite the adventure!
I've been struggling with what I can only imagine is a bit of post partum depression and anxiety coupled with transitioning into my new role. And please don't take this as me being ungrateful that I get to stay at home - it's not that at all - but I know that I can't be the only that feels this way and I know a lot of moms probably do too and just don't talk about it.
We haven't made a lot of friends in the city and the friends we do have don't have kids yet and honestly haven't even made an effort to come to see Casey so it's been pretty rough. I've done a few meet up groups and things of that sort but they never turn into more than a nice conversation that day. So if any of you momma's have felt this way please know you are not alone - it happens to the best of us - and I truly believe that it will get better - it's just one of those phases in life that takes some getting used to.
I've seen a lot of mommas nervous to put their feelings out there - especially after having faced infertility - because we all worked so hard for our miracles how could everything not be puppy dogs and kittens right? I used to feel this way to but newsflash - being a parent is the hardest job in the world. Hands down. People can run companies, they can defend big cases, they can put millions of dollars on the line everyday day with business deals, hell they can run a country - but raising a child well and giving them undivided and unconditional love and attention, teaching them to be all they can be and realize their potential, to encourage them to go for their dreams and to strive for all they wish for - that's hard. And no matter how you come to be a parent that is no different. So please don't take this as me wanting pity or sympathy, or judge me and say "well you wanted this baby so bad and now you are complaining" - that's not what it is at all. I'm just putting it out there for other mommas and even dads - so that mom's know they are not alone and partners know a little of what their partner is going through.
On the flip side I cannot imagine being a working mom - those women are true rockstars and superheroes. I know how hard it is for me to stay at home and feel like I have even one hour a day to myself - I cannot imagine having to fit work in somewhere - so all of you working mommas - I salute you!
So anyways, at this point I'm totally rambling - but if you see a momma out and she looks frazzled or worn and doesn't seem all there - give her an encouraging smile - besides her little ones smile (which is the most amazing feeling in the world) - it might be the only one she gets all day.
XOXO
K
I want to talk about a topic today that I think a lot of people - especially in the infertility community - are afraid to talk about. I don't think all mom's experience it - but I think there is a fair share of us out there so putting myself out here like this - I hope that it can help at least a few other momma's who might be feeling the same way.
So as you all know I officially became a stay at home momma last week. Honestly it's something I never imagined doing but the second Casey was born I knew there was no way that I could leave him and thank goodness we have been able to adjust our lifestyles to afford for me to be able to stay at home. It's not easy and I know even with lifestyle changes it is not something everyone can afford to do so I am beyond grateful to have the opportunity to do it. But that doesn't make the isolation and loneliness that I feel every day any easier.
I love being at home with Casey and watching all of his firsts - the first time he smiled at me, the first time he grabbed for a toy, the first time he rolled over - I wouldn't change my situation for the world but I have been really struggling lately with loneliness and isolation. It has been very hard to go from the working world, where I had lunch with friends all the time, and interacted all day everyday with people to being home with sometimes no interaction and days where I don't even leave the house. Casey is in this phase right now where he hates his car seat so car trips are rough - so we've resorted to walking everywhere - a 6 mile walking roundtrip Target run is quite the adventure!
I've been struggling with what I can only imagine is a bit of post partum depression and anxiety coupled with transitioning into my new role. And please don't take this as me being ungrateful that I get to stay at home - it's not that at all - but I know that I can't be the only that feels this way and I know a lot of moms probably do too and just don't talk about it.
We haven't made a lot of friends in the city and the friends we do have don't have kids yet and honestly haven't even made an effort to come to see Casey so it's been pretty rough. I've done a few meet up groups and things of that sort but they never turn into more than a nice conversation that day. So if any of you momma's have felt this way please know you are not alone - it happens to the best of us - and I truly believe that it will get better - it's just one of those phases in life that takes some getting used to.
I've seen a lot of mommas nervous to put their feelings out there - especially after having faced infertility - because we all worked so hard for our miracles how could everything not be puppy dogs and kittens right? I used to feel this way to but newsflash - being a parent is the hardest job in the world. Hands down. People can run companies, they can defend big cases, they can put millions of dollars on the line everyday day with business deals, hell they can run a country - but raising a child well and giving them undivided and unconditional love and attention, teaching them to be all they can be and realize their potential, to encourage them to go for their dreams and to strive for all they wish for - that's hard. And no matter how you come to be a parent that is no different. So please don't take this as me wanting pity or sympathy, or judge me and say "well you wanted this baby so bad and now you are complaining" - that's not what it is at all. I'm just putting it out there for other mommas and even dads - so that mom's know they are not alone and partners know a little of what their partner is going through.
On the flip side I cannot imagine being a working mom - those women are true rockstars and superheroes. I know how hard it is for me to stay at home and feel like I have even one hour a day to myself - I cannot imagine having to fit work in somewhere - so all of you working mommas - I salute you!
So anyways, at this point I'm totally rambling - but if you see a momma out and she looks frazzled or worn and doesn't seem all there - give her an encouraging smile - besides her little ones smile (which is the most amazing feeling in the world) - it might be the only one she gets all day.
XOXO
K
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