Stop the mommy wars...
So I've been meaning to write a post like this for a while but recently a few things I posted in social media mommies groups have caused me to put the proverbial pen to paper and get it out there.
I belong to many mommy groups on social media forums. I have one that I adore more than anything in this world. The girls there are amazing, they are supportive, everyone works towards lifting one another up versus tearing anyone down. There is no judgment, no cattiness - I love these girls. Mommas - you know who you are!
However, there are a few other groups I belong to that I have just come to find out are not the same. There are car seat groups that make first time moms feel stupid because they don't have all of the facts about all of the seats - well duh - that is why I'm here asking a question. Because I. don't. know. There are breastfeeding groups that you can literally get kicked out of for answering questions about supplementing. Wow…really? This infuriates me. I'm trying to breastfeed my son and would love some support - but God forbid I ask a question about how to breastfeed him and supplement which I have to do. If I didn't - he would literally starve. And don't tell me to nurse more - I've nursed literally every 60 minutes all day and it doesn't help. How about we start a feed the babies group? I would love to be the administrator - boobs, bottles - everyone is welcome!
Then there is the real life mommy wars - who has the better stroller, whose car seat costs more, whose baby is rolling over at 3 weeks, yadda yadda yadda. It's really ridiculous. Honestly, I think that my son is the most amazing thing to "walk" this earth - he is my heart, soul and my world. To me there is no better creature than him. So no matter when your kids started rolling over, no matter if they can spell their name in sign language at 2 months old, hell I don't care if they can dance a jig while baking a cake…nothing your child does is going to make me think they are better than my son - just as nothing I could tell you Casey does would make you think he can hold a candle to your little one - and that's ok. We all love our children more than life itself - so let's not compare them.
I don't want to talk about percentiles, about development - the only thing that's going to do is put doubt in my mind that I'm doing the very best job I can do to raise my son. As a first time mom - it's definitely hard to not get caught up in the comparisons - but in the past 4.5 months I've learned it doesn't get you anywhere. As first time moms - or even moms of multiple kids - we should all build one another up. Parenting is the hardest thing - hands down - I have ever done in my life. We all need support and help in this crazy ride - not judgement and criticism. I know there are days where I think wow - am I cut out for this? Am I a good mom? If Casey is having a bad day and I can't comfort him I think am I not enough for him? I need momma's that are going to help build me up and say yes - you are a damn good momma and don't ever question that - not make me feel bad or inadequate.
So I'm rambling a bit now - but I just had to get it out there. I hope that as moms we can be there for one another - to build one another up and support each other. Whether you breastfeed, bottle-feed, practice baby led weaning, use store bought purees or make your own, whether you plan to extended rear face, or forward face your little one as soon as you can, whether you choose to let your kid watch movies or don't want them anywhere near a screen until they have to - know that you are a great mom. Raising a child is hard, and you are doing a great job - don't ever let anyone make you question that. Make decisions that are best for you and your family - because in the end that's all that matters!
XOXO
K
I belong to many mommy groups on social media forums. I have one that I adore more than anything in this world. The girls there are amazing, they are supportive, everyone works towards lifting one another up versus tearing anyone down. There is no judgment, no cattiness - I love these girls. Mommas - you know who you are!
However, there are a few other groups I belong to that I have just come to find out are not the same. There are car seat groups that make first time moms feel stupid because they don't have all of the facts about all of the seats - well duh - that is why I'm here asking a question. Because I. don't. know. There are breastfeeding groups that you can literally get kicked out of for answering questions about supplementing. Wow…really? This infuriates me. I'm trying to breastfeed my son and would love some support - but God forbid I ask a question about how to breastfeed him and supplement which I have to do. If I didn't - he would literally starve. And don't tell me to nurse more - I've nursed literally every 60 minutes all day and it doesn't help. How about we start a feed the babies group? I would love to be the administrator - boobs, bottles - everyone is welcome!
Then there is the real life mommy wars - who has the better stroller, whose car seat costs more, whose baby is rolling over at 3 weeks, yadda yadda yadda. It's really ridiculous. Honestly, I think that my son is the most amazing thing to "walk" this earth - he is my heart, soul and my world. To me there is no better creature than him. So no matter when your kids started rolling over, no matter if they can spell their name in sign language at 2 months old, hell I don't care if they can dance a jig while baking a cake…nothing your child does is going to make me think they are better than my son - just as nothing I could tell you Casey does would make you think he can hold a candle to your little one - and that's ok. We all love our children more than life itself - so let's not compare them.
I don't want to talk about percentiles, about development - the only thing that's going to do is put doubt in my mind that I'm doing the very best job I can do to raise my son. As a first time mom - it's definitely hard to not get caught up in the comparisons - but in the past 4.5 months I've learned it doesn't get you anywhere. As first time moms - or even moms of multiple kids - we should all build one another up. Parenting is the hardest thing - hands down - I have ever done in my life. We all need support and help in this crazy ride - not judgement and criticism. I know there are days where I think wow - am I cut out for this? Am I a good mom? If Casey is having a bad day and I can't comfort him I think am I not enough for him? I need momma's that are going to help build me up and say yes - you are a damn good momma and don't ever question that - not make me feel bad or inadequate.
So I'm rambling a bit now - but I just had to get it out there. I hope that as moms we can be there for one another - to build one another up and support each other. Whether you breastfeed, bottle-feed, practice baby led weaning, use store bought purees or make your own, whether you plan to extended rear face, or forward face your little one as soon as you can, whether you choose to let your kid watch movies or don't want them anywhere near a screen until they have to - know that you are a great mom. Raising a child is hard, and you are doing a great job - don't ever let anyone make you question that. Make decisions that are best for you and your family - because in the end that's all that matters!
XOXO
K
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