If I had a dollar....
So when I found out that I was going to be a twin mom I immediately started joining twin mom groups - my local chapter of Double Blessings Mother of Twins Club as well as every facebook twin mom group I could find. I felt that I couldn't get enough knowledge about being a twin mom. Being a part of these groups you hear all sorts of things that twin moms are often asked - and generally annoyed by. So I'm sure there is nothing on here you haven't heard before if you are a twin mom - and if you aren't you may have said one of these to a twin mom at some point. To be honest though, and maybe I'm the anomaly - I do not mind these questions. Sure, when all 3 of my kiddos are fussy and the cute little 80 year old grandma wants to sit and ask a bunch of questions and tickle their pigs I am kinda like could we speed this along - but my children are my greatest accomplishment and they are so beautiful and so sweet so I want to share them with as many people as possible. Not everyone gets the opportunity to be a twin mom - it's a lot of work, don't get me wrong - but seeing a special bond between 2 tiny humans that you created and carried at the same time is indescribable. They are 7 months old and I still look at them sometimes and think how are they mine?? So anyways - I'm rambling as per usual but here goes - here are some of my favorite questions I get asked no more than a dozen times every time we go out:
Are they twins?
This seems obvious but being in the infertility community I can see why people would ask this question even though it seems like a no brainer. We could have adopted one and had another or they could be cousins or I could be the nanny so honestly while I think they look similar I don't mind this question at all.
Are they identical?
So most people know that there is no way that Max and Mia could be identical because obviously they have different parts. Confession time - before I had them it wasn't that I didn't know that this was the case - but I guess it's just something you don't really think about. So this question also doesn't bother me. Sometimes I kind of giggle internally but then I remember that I may have asked the same silly question before not even thinking what I was asking. And when they are asleep they do look very similar and they have almost identical mannerisms when they are asleep in their car seats and sometimes I've even had to do a double take.
Are they natural? Do twins run in your family?
This seems to be a hot topic in the twin mom community. I honestly don't understand why simply because we have always been very open and honest about our infertility struggles. So to me - I don't mind sharing that all of my babies are IVF babies. I also love sharing the fact that the twins were frozen for 2 years before we transferred them back to their rightful home. I didn't know anything about IVF when we were diagnosed as infertile so sharing our story and opening up makes me hopeful that we can help someone before they get that tough diagnosis. I am simply in awe of our story and it's my own. The fact that our babies were cryogenically preserved for 2 years, thawed, and then became our beautiful M&M blows my mind. Every. Single. Day.
Is he yours too?
This is of course in reference to Ceej. I think people think we are absolutely insane to have 3 kids in such a short time - and to plan it that way - really plan it that way. But I absolutely love it. My brother and I were 7 years apart and I always knew that I wanted my kiddos closer - for me and for them. For me so that we can get through the tough newborn/baby phases and get all of our kids quickly to that stage where no one needs naps, no one needs to be in bed by 7 and we can all go out and enjoy things more. And also for then because I truly believe that there is no greater gift that you can give your kids than a sibling. And I know it's not possible for everyone - for many many reasons be it infertility, financially or what have you - but for me - I'm so thankful we've been able to give them all each other.
Are you alone?
The first time someone asked me this question I was very taken aback by it and thought that they were a total creep. Then I realized that they were asking if I was alone, in target, pushing a double snap and go stroller and pulling along a cart with my toddler in it stacked full of diapers and wipes. Yep. I'm alone. All of my kiddos are so much more happy and content when we are out and about so for me - we are all better off when we are out - even though I might be soaked in sweat and panting by the time I get them all through the store and loaded back in the car.
Do you have help?
This answer is tricky because often times people assume we have a full time nanny. So off course the answer to that is no. I'm a stay at home momma - it's my job. I left my career to take care of and raise my kiddos and that's what I'm going to do. I do have Miss Chris (who we love) and who comes in everyday from 6:30-8:30 to help me get the day started and it's so so helpful. The first hour she's usually feeding the twins while I'm getting CJ up and fed and taken care of. Then the second hour I usually put the babies down for their nap and then sometimes sneak in a shower or a workout. It's great and I'm so thankful that financially we are able to have a little bit of help.
You are done right?
I love this question. People think we are crazy for having 3 kiddos so close together and they automatically assume we are done - especially when they hear we have 2 boys and a girl. They generally say well you got your girl you can be done right? I always respond very politely that they are all IVF babies created at the same time and they have one sibling left waiting in the freezer for them and we hope to have a 4th. I often get a "god bless you" after that and have even had people do the sign of the cross at me. It's pretty comical.
and last but not least...
How do you do it?
This is probably one of my favorite questions. And the answer is...you just do. You just do it. You just figure it out. I can't even remember what my life was like before Ceej or the twins and when they came along it was like well we are just going to do this. I am the type that can't sit around at home twiddling my thumbs and I will never forget the first day I went out with all 3 alone - I was anxious and nervous the whole night before but I knew I just had to jump in and do it and each and every outing things got easier and easier and here we are - we usually go out a few times a day and it's just normal life for us.
And that's that. Those are the questions that I get asked while out and about most days. But again - I don't mind them at all because honestly my kids are the coolest kids in the world, they are beautiful and gorgeous and they are the best thing I've ever done in my life - so I could talk about them until I'm blue in the face and it would never be enough.
XOXO
K
Are they twins?
This seems obvious but being in the infertility community I can see why people would ask this question even though it seems like a no brainer. We could have adopted one and had another or they could be cousins or I could be the nanny so honestly while I think they look similar I don't mind this question at all.
Are they identical?
So most people know that there is no way that Max and Mia could be identical because obviously they have different parts. Confession time - before I had them it wasn't that I didn't know that this was the case - but I guess it's just something you don't really think about. So this question also doesn't bother me. Sometimes I kind of giggle internally but then I remember that I may have asked the same silly question before not even thinking what I was asking. And when they are asleep they do look very similar and they have almost identical mannerisms when they are asleep in their car seats and sometimes I've even had to do a double take.
Are they natural? Do twins run in your family?
This seems to be a hot topic in the twin mom community. I honestly don't understand why simply because we have always been very open and honest about our infertility struggles. So to me - I don't mind sharing that all of my babies are IVF babies. I also love sharing the fact that the twins were frozen for 2 years before we transferred them back to their rightful home. I didn't know anything about IVF when we were diagnosed as infertile so sharing our story and opening up makes me hopeful that we can help someone before they get that tough diagnosis. I am simply in awe of our story and it's my own. The fact that our babies were cryogenically preserved for 2 years, thawed, and then became our beautiful M&M blows my mind. Every. Single. Day.
Is he yours too?
This is of course in reference to Ceej. I think people think we are absolutely insane to have 3 kids in such a short time - and to plan it that way - really plan it that way. But I absolutely love it. My brother and I were 7 years apart and I always knew that I wanted my kiddos closer - for me and for them. For me so that we can get through the tough newborn/baby phases and get all of our kids quickly to that stage where no one needs naps, no one needs to be in bed by 7 and we can all go out and enjoy things more. And also for then because I truly believe that there is no greater gift that you can give your kids than a sibling. And I know it's not possible for everyone - for many many reasons be it infertility, financially or what have you - but for me - I'm so thankful we've been able to give them all each other.
Are you alone?
The first time someone asked me this question I was very taken aback by it and thought that they were a total creep. Then I realized that they were asking if I was alone, in target, pushing a double snap and go stroller and pulling along a cart with my toddler in it stacked full of diapers and wipes. Yep. I'm alone. All of my kiddos are so much more happy and content when we are out and about so for me - we are all better off when we are out - even though I might be soaked in sweat and panting by the time I get them all through the store and loaded back in the car.
Do you have help?
This answer is tricky because often times people assume we have a full time nanny. So off course the answer to that is no. I'm a stay at home momma - it's my job. I left my career to take care of and raise my kiddos and that's what I'm going to do. I do have Miss Chris (who we love) and who comes in everyday from 6:30-8:30 to help me get the day started and it's so so helpful. The first hour she's usually feeding the twins while I'm getting CJ up and fed and taken care of. Then the second hour I usually put the babies down for their nap and then sometimes sneak in a shower or a workout. It's great and I'm so thankful that financially we are able to have a little bit of help.
You are done right?
I love this question. People think we are crazy for having 3 kiddos so close together and they automatically assume we are done - especially when they hear we have 2 boys and a girl. They generally say well you got your girl you can be done right? I always respond very politely that they are all IVF babies created at the same time and they have one sibling left waiting in the freezer for them and we hope to have a 4th. I often get a "god bless you" after that and have even had people do the sign of the cross at me. It's pretty comical.
and last but not least...
How do you do it?
This is probably one of my favorite questions. And the answer is...you just do. You just do it. You just figure it out. I can't even remember what my life was like before Ceej or the twins and when they came along it was like well we are just going to do this. I am the type that can't sit around at home twiddling my thumbs and I will never forget the first day I went out with all 3 alone - I was anxious and nervous the whole night before but I knew I just had to jump in and do it and each and every outing things got easier and easier and here we are - we usually go out a few times a day and it's just normal life for us.
And that's that. Those are the questions that I get asked while out and about most days. But again - I don't mind them at all because honestly my kids are the coolest kids in the world, they are beautiful and gorgeous and they are the best thing I've ever done in my life - so I could talk about them until I'm blue in the face and it would never be enough.
XOXO
K
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