The day my birth plan got crapped on...

 
So I've been wanting to write this post for over a week and a half but just wasn't quite ready to sit down and think about it and re live it just yet. But yesterday's wee mail inspired me to get it out there!
 
At my 36 week appointment after having my first cervical check to find out we were 2.5cm dilated, finding out Baby Wik was still measuring 2 weeks ahead, and that we would get another sneak peek at Baby Wik at 37 weeks because the doc wanted to do a growth scan I was feeling great and thought since it had been a few weeks since I had seen my actual doctor (they rotate us through as each doctor only delivers one day a week) it would be a great time to talk about my birth plan. I should have known that something was going on that day - he was running almost an hour late but I thought well now is just a good a time as any. So I pull out my little folder hand it over, and he starts to read it....
 
Needless to say - he was less than impressed. And I was in total shock. He asked me who wrote it, wasn't most of this stuff assumed, started in on of course we will only do a c-section if it's medically necessary why would you even put that in there? Needless to say - the tears started rolling. I was by myself and they just would. not. stop. Our birth plan is nothing out of the ordinary - and a lot of the items on there are assumed and I get that - but there are other items such as the fact that we would like to delay the cord clamping until it stops pulsing, we would like the cord blood donated, we want to delay newborn care, or the fact that we want the placenta to take home so we can have it encapsulated - that I just want written down as I am positive that the moment we bring our baby into this world we aren't going to be thinking about all of the small things. (Thank God we have our amazing Rita to help with these things!!)
 
I could not stop crying, and he would not stop going on and on about some of the things in there. Between sobs I tried to get him to understand that the plan was not a reflection of him, or his staff, or the hospital staff or our mistrust of any of them - but rather more for us to be sure our wishes were out there and more for Chris and I to actively talk about our wishes and hopes for that day - knowing that ultimately Baby will call all the shots. Until we took classes and sat down and wrote a birthplan - we really hadn't talked about our visions and wishes for that day - but rather thought that someone else (i.e. the medical staff) would tell us how it was going to be. And I completely understand - at the end of the day Baby Wik is going to decide how he/she is going to come into this world and we are all just going to follow their lead and we trust the doc and hospital staff 110% - and will follow anything that they say needs to happen to keep baby or momma safe - but it is quite the empowering feeling to put down on paper what you hope for the most special day of your life.
 
I wanted to put this out there to other mommas-to-be who might be working on birth plans/wishes to caution that they could be met with hesitation. And if any of you would like to see mine please feel free to shoot me an email or leave me a comment and I'd be happy to share with you. But stick to your guns and know what you want - even if you don't hand it over to the doctor or the nurses or the hospital staff - know what you want, educate yourself, and put into your wishes what you think will work for you. But most important of all - be open minded and understand that things may not work the way you plan, and that's OK. For me right now - there are days where I question - especially after finding out Baby Wik is big with a big noggin' - can I do this naturally? Am I going to want that epidural? Am I even going to have that option? But at the end of the day - I am going to do whatever the doctors/nurses tell us has to be done and then do what feels right from there.
 
He finally backed off and realized maybe he had gone too far and I quietly took the plan back, tried to clear up my eyes, and leave with my dignity but it's left a little bit of a weird taste in my mouth and I'm just trying not to stress about it. I am chalking it up to the fact that the doc was maybe just having a bad day, dealing with professional or personal issues , or was just irritated - we all have days like that - and this week when we saw him he seemed perfectly fine. No matter what - I know we have Rita by our side who will ensure that our birth is simply amazing - no matter how Baby Wik decides it is going to unfold, and I know - beyond a shadow of a doubt - it really will be the best day of my life.
 
XOXO
K

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