He's just being a Dad...
So this may be a controversial post so I'll just put it out there now that not everyone feels this way and I respect that. This is what works for me and our family and it's something I feel strongly about - but I respect the thoughts of others who may think or do it differently.
So I will start off by saying my husband is amazing. Chris is the epitome of a simply amazing Dad. He is so attentive and so loving and gives 110% of himself to the kids when he is with them. It warms my heart to see them together and I can literally see the love emanating from all of them when they are together. He is also insanely patient - like it's incredible. It takes a lot to get him ruffled and our house is mass chaos all the time. That being said - I hate when people tell me how lucky I am that I have a husband who helps, gets up in the middle of the night, and "watches" the kids when I need some time.
Ok, so let me start off with saying it frank - that's bullshit. (Haha maybe I'm coming on a little strong but I told you I'm passionate about it!). Am I thankful and extremely grateful to have a great partner to do life with? YES - a resounding yes. I am so thankful and feel so blessed that my kids have a great dad 100%. But if we are all honest - he's doing his job. I didn't have these babies on my own - as the old adage goes it takes 2 to tango (well in our case a whole lot more than 2) - but we did this together. He's just fulfilling his end of the bargain.
Ok ok, you say well he's the one that works and supports the family and you are the stay at home momma - the homemaker if you will. Well - that's a post for another day - but ok let's go with this argument. So I totally understand he is the one supporting the family, carrying the health insurance, bringing home the bacon - I get it. And more than ever we have realized how very important health insurance is. I get it - but I also worked for 10 years to help put us in a position where we would be set up to have babies and be able to draw off of our savings if need be so that one of us could stay at home.
I also worked for 10 years in a pretty high stress financial job commuting 60-90 minutes each way everyday. And on the flip side I've been a stay at home momma for 2.5 years now. I can tell you - at least in my case - going to work everyday (minus the emotional heartache of leaving my babies) - would be 100 times easier than what I do now. In my current "job" I'm "on" from the time the first is up which is usually by 5am and I don't slow down until 8 at night when the last one goes to bed. And for 95% of that time it's all me. Responsible for keeping my 3 tiny humans alive. So while lives weren't on the line while I was crunching numbers all day - they certainly are now.
Anyways - I digress and feel like maybe I'm getting a little away from the point. But while I appreciate all that Chris does to help out I also feel like it's his duty and his responsibility as a dad. I get that he has to physically leave the house and go to work everyday but I work just as hard. And while he needs to be well rested to do well at his job - I also need the same. So those middle of the night wake ups? We're alternating sweet cheeks because momma needs a little time to rest too. And don't even get me started on changing diapers, helping with feedings and bath, and changing clothes. Yep - when Dads are around there's no reason they can't chip in.
And as for me time - I don't get a lot of it but that's a lot by choice. To be honest when Chris is home I want to be together as a family of 5 just because we don't get a ton of that during the week and I know the moments are fleeting and before we know it our little chicks will fly the nest. I also - this is embarassing - but am too tired after they go to bed to run out and do anything - all I want is the couch, some guilty pleasure TV and the occasional glass of wine. But when I do need to run out, want to do something with a girlfriend, get my hair done or stroll the target aisles alone - I don't consider Chris hanging with the kids to be doing me a favor or a "solid". Sure , do I appreciate him recognizing the fact that my job is stressful and making sure I have some "me" time - of course. However, he's not "babysitting" our kids - he's being a dad and spending time with his kids - and I'm a firm believer of that.
Anyways - my soapbox is getting a bit high so I think it's time to wrap it up - but mommas do not for one second feel bad when your hubby steps in and helps. That's what being a partner, and more importantly a Dad - is all about. And in honor of the best damn partner around...
XOXO
K
So I will start off by saying my husband is amazing. Chris is the epitome of a simply amazing Dad. He is so attentive and so loving and gives 110% of himself to the kids when he is with them. It warms my heart to see them together and I can literally see the love emanating from all of them when they are together. He is also insanely patient - like it's incredible. It takes a lot to get him ruffled and our house is mass chaos all the time. That being said - I hate when people tell me how lucky I am that I have a husband who helps, gets up in the middle of the night, and "watches" the kids when I need some time.
Ok, so let me start off with saying it frank - that's bullshit. (Haha maybe I'm coming on a little strong but I told you I'm passionate about it!). Am I thankful and extremely grateful to have a great partner to do life with? YES - a resounding yes. I am so thankful and feel so blessed that my kids have a great dad 100%. But if we are all honest - he's doing his job. I didn't have these babies on my own - as the old adage goes it takes 2 to tango (well in our case a whole lot more than 2) - but we did this together. He's just fulfilling his end of the bargain.
Ok ok, you say well he's the one that works and supports the family and you are the stay at home momma - the homemaker if you will. Well - that's a post for another day - but ok let's go with this argument. So I totally understand he is the one supporting the family, carrying the health insurance, bringing home the bacon - I get it. And more than ever we have realized how very important health insurance is. I get it - but I also worked for 10 years to help put us in a position where we would be set up to have babies and be able to draw off of our savings if need be so that one of us could stay at home.
I also worked for 10 years in a pretty high stress financial job commuting 60-90 minutes each way everyday. And on the flip side I've been a stay at home momma for 2.5 years now. I can tell you - at least in my case - going to work everyday (minus the emotional heartache of leaving my babies) - would be 100 times easier than what I do now. In my current "job" I'm "on" from the time the first is up which is usually by 5am and I don't slow down until 8 at night when the last one goes to bed. And for 95% of that time it's all me. Responsible for keeping my 3 tiny humans alive. So while lives weren't on the line while I was crunching numbers all day - they certainly are now.
Anyways - I digress and feel like maybe I'm getting a little away from the point. But while I appreciate all that Chris does to help out I also feel like it's his duty and his responsibility as a dad. I get that he has to physically leave the house and go to work everyday but I work just as hard. And while he needs to be well rested to do well at his job - I also need the same. So those middle of the night wake ups? We're alternating sweet cheeks because momma needs a little time to rest too. And don't even get me started on changing diapers, helping with feedings and bath, and changing clothes. Yep - when Dads are around there's no reason they can't chip in.
And as for me time - I don't get a lot of it but that's a lot by choice. To be honest when Chris is home I want to be together as a family of 5 just because we don't get a ton of that during the week and I know the moments are fleeting and before we know it our little chicks will fly the nest. I also - this is embarassing - but am too tired after they go to bed to run out and do anything - all I want is the couch, some guilty pleasure TV and the occasional glass of wine. But when I do need to run out, want to do something with a girlfriend, get my hair done or stroll the target aisles alone - I don't consider Chris hanging with the kids to be doing me a favor or a "solid". Sure , do I appreciate him recognizing the fact that my job is stressful and making sure I have some "me" time - of course. However, he's not "babysitting" our kids - he's being a dad and spending time with his kids - and I'm a firm believer of that.
Anyways - my soapbox is getting a bit high so I think it's time to wrap it up - but mommas do not for one second feel bad when your hubby steps in and helps. That's what being a partner, and more importantly a Dad - is all about. And in honor of the best damn partner around...
XOXO
K
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