October 15th
As many of you may know October 15th is pregnancy and infant loss remembrance day. While Chris and I are one of the very fortunate ones to have never lost a baby - 1 out of every 4 women are not. 1 out of every 4 - that means the likelihood that you are in line at the grocery store with a woman who has lost a baby is very high. As you sit in Church on Sunday I am sure there are many mothers and fathers with holes in their heart from losing their sweet angels. Some of these families will keep these losses to themselves and grieve silently, others will have special services in remembrance of their babies - but no matter how they deal with it their pain is unimaginable, very real and something that just doesn't go away.
As I mentioned - Chris and I are one of the lucky ones to have never lost a baby - and although I don't feel it's the same - we have lost an embryo. We lost a living piece of us. I often wonder what that embryo would have become. Was it a boy or girl? Would it have been blonde like momma or more brown like daddy? Hazel or blue eyes? Would he or she have been a doctor? An accountant like momma or a businessperson like Daddy? We will never know but we will always remember him/her as a piece of us that was never given a chance to flourish.
As I sit here and I play with my happy and healthy little man my heart literally aches for those who have lost pregnancies and their sweet little babies - parents should never have to outlive their children - it's just not fair. Although I can't even fathom how you feel, or what goes through your heart every single day - know that today and everyday I think about you and your little angels looking down at you from above.
I also want to remind you - if you are the 1 in 4 - that you are not alone. The grief that you are feeling is very real, very understandable and it's OK to feel the way that you do. I know that I am a part of an amazing community where unfortunately most of the women who are apart of it and have become very near and dear to my heart are the 1 in 4. Before going down the TTC road I had no clue how prevalent miscarriages were. I just naively assumed people got pregnant pretty easily and that it was this unusual event if a family lost a baby. And then I became educated and realized that's not the case. Had I ever experienced a loss I have no doubt it would have sent me into a tailspin because I would have felt so isolated and alone.
If you know someone who has lost a child - please I encourage you to reach out to them - today or any day. The pain and heartache they feel is not something that goes away - it's not something they think of only today, or on their due date, or on the day they lost their baby - they live with it every single day and they likely could use a little love and encouragement. Often times people (and I used to be guilty of this) think that people don't want to talk about their losses, that it's just too hard or too unbearable - when in reality knowing that someone else cares enough to ask "how are you doing" or "is there anything I can do for you" - reminds them that it is not only them that loved and cared for their little angel. A post one of my favorite TTC sisters Jennifer wrote this morning about her precious angels left me in tears and one thing she said was that her babies were so special they went to heaven first - wow...
As I mentioned - Chris and I are one of the lucky ones to have never lost a baby - and although I don't feel it's the same - we have lost an embryo. We lost a living piece of us. I often wonder what that embryo would have become. Was it a boy or girl? Would it have been blonde like momma or more brown like daddy? Hazel or blue eyes? Would he or she have been a doctor? An accountant like momma or a businessperson like Daddy? We will never know but we will always remember him/her as a piece of us that was never given a chance to flourish.
As I sit here and I play with my happy and healthy little man my heart literally aches for those who have lost pregnancies and their sweet little babies - parents should never have to outlive their children - it's just not fair. Although I can't even fathom how you feel, or what goes through your heart every single day - know that today and everyday I think about you and your little angels looking down at you from above.
I also want to remind you - if you are the 1 in 4 - that you are not alone. The grief that you are feeling is very real, very understandable and it's OK to feel the way that you do. I know that I am a part of an amazing community where unfortunately most of the women who are apart of it and have become very near and dear to my heart are the 1 in 4. Before going down the TTC road I had no clue how prevalent miscarriages were. I just naively assumed people got pregnant pretty easily and that it was this unusual event if a family lost a baby. And then I became educated and realized that's not the case. Had I ever experienced a loss I have no doubt it would have sent me into a tailspin because I would have felt so isolated and alone.
If you know someone who has lost a child - please I encourage you to reach out to them - today or any day. The pain and heartache they feel is not something that goes away - it's not something they think of only today, or on their due date, or on the day they lost their baby - they live with it every single day and they likely could use a little love and encouragement. Often times people (and I used to be guilty of this) think that people don't want to talk about their losses, that it's just too hard or too unbearable - when in reality knowing that someone else cares enough to ask "how are you doing" or "is there anything I can do for you" - reminds them that it is not only them that loved and cared for their little angel. A post one of my favorite TTC sisters Jennifer wrote this morning about her precious angels left me in tears and one thing she said was that her babies were so special they went to heaven first - wow...
So to all of you mommas out there - with angels looking down from heaven - my heart goes out to you today. I send many prayers and lots of love and a big virtual hug. Tonight I will be joining the wave of light beginning at 7pm I will light a candle in remembrance of all of your sweet angel babies. Lots of love and huge to you all.
XOXO
K
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