Sleep Training
So this Friday we will embark on what I truly believe will be our hardest few weeks as parents thus far. Sleep training. In a bout of desperation the other morning (typing furiously at 3am after being up every 60-90 minutes all night long) - we booked the sleep consultant we had previously cancelled twice. I'm sure some people believe it's a waste of money, that we should just tough it out, that we could have figured it out on our own - and everyone is entitled to their own opinion. However we were at our wit's end. I cannot imagine what it feels like to sleep through the night as it hasn't happened in easily 9 months and it's affecting Chris also as we are now co-sleeping and no one is getting much rest. But the main reason we decided it was time to truly teach CJ how to sleep was all for him - sleeping a max of 7 hours a night (when babies his age should be getting 11-12 hours of nighttime sleep (for most not all)) concerned me for his development and happiness. So anyways, I'm rambling but I know most of you are anxiously awaiting news of what we talked about so here goes.
CJ's biggest problem is his sleep associations right now. His biggest is falling asleep at the breast. Right now he nurses to sleep so when he cycles through a sleep cycle and wakes up and the boob isn't there - he freaks out. He thinks oh my gosh, when I went to sleep mom was here and I had my milks and now they aren't here what am I going to do? And personally I feel like he needed it up until now - but he's healthy and thriving and I fully believe he should be able to go more than an hour and a half between feedings. So that's our first association we need to work on - not necessarily for bed time as he always should go down with a full belly - but for naps - no more nursing to sleep. We should follow a sleep, eat, play, sleep, eat play cycle.
The second association is co sleeping and his baby merlin magic sleep suit. Co sleeping is one of those things we never wanted to do and honestly it still scares the shit out of me. I don't sleep well for fear that one of us will roll over on him or bring a blanket to his face - so I'm glad that he will soon be sleeping in his own bed. The sleep suit is also an issue as right now it's the only way he will sleep on his back. As he gets more mobile he has to come out of that. Janeen also mentioned to us that babies sleep better when they hit a certain age and have more freedom so our new plan is jammies and a sleep sack which she mentioned is good for kids until they go into a toddler bed.
We also have ordered the marpac dohm sleep machine and black out shades as she mentioned that lighting is very important to get babies to sleep as well as the sleep machine to help them associate the sounds with sleeping. So essentially when we go into CJs room it will be dark, calm, and soothing for him and he will begin to associate this all with sleeping.
CJ's biggest problem is his sleep associations right now. His biggest is falling asleep at the breast. Right now he nurses to sleep so when he cycles through a sleep cycle and wakes up and the boob isn't there - he freaks out. He thinks oh my gosh, when I went to sleep mom was here and I had my milks and now they aren't here what am I going to do? And personally I feel like he needed it up until now - but he's healthy and thriving and I fully believe he should be able to go more than an hour and a half between feedings. So that's our first association we need to work on - not necessarily for bed time as he always should go down with a full belly - but for naps - no more nursing to sleep. We should follow a sleep, eat, play, sleep, eat play cycle.
The second association is co sleeping and his baby merlin magic sleep suit. Co sleeping is one of those things we never wanted to do and honestly it still scares the shit out of me. I don't sleep well for fear that one of us will roll over on him or bring a blanket to his face - so I'm glad that he will soon be sleeping in his own bed. The sleep suit is also an issue as right now it's the only way he will sleep on his back. As he gets more mobile he has to come out of that. Janeen also mentioned to us that babies sleep better when they hit a certain age and have more freedom so our new plan is jammies and a sleep sack which she mentioned is good for kids until they go into a toddler bed.
We also have ordered the marpac dohm sleep machine and black out shades as she mentioned that lighting is very important to get babies to sleep as well as the sleep machine to help them associate the sounds with sleeping. So essentially when we go into CJs room it will be dark, calm, and soothing for him and he will begin to associate this all with sleeping.
I was also surprised to discover that bedtime should be around 6:30-7:00 and that no matter the wakings we shouldn't get him out until he's been in there 11 hours. It just seems so early but I guess the old saying sleep begets sleep really is true.
So where's the good stuff? What do we have to do? I will caveat this by saying I'm not excited about this and honestly I'm a nervous wreck and 50/50 we end up not going through with it and being out the cash - but if that's the case so be it. So the current plan involves much more of Chris' participation than mine basically because I know I'm not strong enough to do it. We will be doing what's called the Sleep Shuffle. The first 3 nights we do our bedtime routine - bath, massage, book, nurse and bottle and put ceej down drowsy but not asleep by 6:30. Daddy stays with him, holding his hand and singing songs to him and comforting him until he falls asleep. If he's crying hysterically we can pick him up calm him down and try again but the key is to not let him fall asleep in our arms - the whole association thing again. We do that all night whenever he wakes. I set an alarm and come in to do dream feeds at 10pm and 2am - which we will quickly phase out.
So where's the good stuff? What do we have to do? I will caveat this by saying I'm not excited about this and honestly I'm a nervous wreck and 50/50 we end up not going through with it and being out the cash - but if that's the case so be it. So the current plan involves much more of Chris' participation than mine basically because I know I'm not strong enough to do it. We will be doing what's called the Sleep Shuffle. The first 3 nights we do our bedtime routine - bath, massage, book, nurse and bottle and put ceej down drowsy but not asleep by 6:30. Daddy stays with him, holding his hand and singing songs to him and comforting him until he falls asleep. If he's crying hysterically we can pick him up calm him down and try again but the key is to not let him fall asleep in our arms - the whole association thing again. We do that all night whenever he wakes. I set an alarm and come in to do dream feeds at 10pm and 2am - which we will quickly phase out.
Then the shuffling begins - night 4 daddy moves to the middle of the room a little further away. Still there the whole time , singing the same reassuring song and being there for comfort but with less physical contact. That's nights 4-6. Night 7-9 daddy moves to the doorway - you get the picture.
Honestly - this is killing me. I know it's the best for our family and we need to give Ceej the tools he needs to sleep but I am having serious anxiety about it and at the end of the day I'm not sure I can do it. So any mommas out there that have success stories or words of advice send them my way - along with lots and lots of prayers this is a fast process.
XOXO
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